areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
