literally had 100 drinks last night.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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