I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
