my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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