I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i think im in europe. pls send help
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
