Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
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