she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
