After last night, I could never be a politician.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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