I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize