in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I touched a dick in church today
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
