And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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