i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
