two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
