you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
