it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
