I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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