in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
