I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize