I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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