i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
