I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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