That's when you crack a 10am beer
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
