K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize