Dual....:-)
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
They have beer where we have blood.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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