Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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