THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
