He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
