it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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