Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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