Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
