just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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