If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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