Im at strip club and am horny
You're so nebulous sometimes
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
