that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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