the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The Olympian is in my bed
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
