You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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