glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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