we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
