i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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