if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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