Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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