Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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