boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
