Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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