There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
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I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
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Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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