try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
