she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he quoted the bible to break up with me
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize