I'd wear matching sweaters with you
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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