If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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