I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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