Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
