He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off