I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.