Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
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I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
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Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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