I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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