"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
