I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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