Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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