I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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