My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Do vagina's smell?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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