Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize