Me. At least after what I've been through.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
