I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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